Getting Out of the Rut

     Every day since my knee surgery in February, I run seven miles.  The seven miles are always the same.  I have a route that cannot be changed.  The route includes almost circling several blocks which would be illogical if one were just going from point A to point B.  There was a purpose in the dark of winter for this route.  These blocks had street lamps and I need those to see where I was going.

    Winter gave way to Spring that gave way to summer.  As the summer solstice approached, I still went around those blocks, I still did not deviate from the route even though there was plenty of light to see by.

    Most days the thought never occurred to me to take a different route.  Then out of boredom, I would sometimes consider going straight instead of around the blocks.  But my brain fought against this notion.  It did not feel comfortable.  It was not familiar.  It was not my route.  So my stubbornness would ensure that I stuck to MY route and not deviate from it.  Week after week, month after month.  

    Don't get me wrong.  I felt great on all of the runs.  I was so grateful just to be running and that's part of the reason I never changed the route.

    Life began to be like that as well.  I settle into a routine as we all do.  I am very comfortable in my routine when I'm not working.  I do not deviate from it and when forced to do so like to run and errand when I should be biking is an irritation.

    To get out of this rut really takes some effort.  It's risky, daring, not comfortable.  You're facing the unknown.  

    When I plan some adventure like going to the Colorado Trail, John Muir Trail, or Pacific Northwest, I talk to myself about how I will do it but more often than that, I never do actually do it.

    So now I'm definitely out of this rut.  I'm sitting at the Dallas airport waiting to board a flight to Madrid, Spain.  Almost three weeks of the unknown.  I'm out of that comfort zone.  I'm not going around the block but venturing forward toward some destination and adventure.  

    Travel enough and that becomes the new routine.  Being a school teacher makes that difficult because ten months of the year I am not traveling so I have to adjust and get out of my comfort zone.

    There's really never been an adventure, never been a trip that I have regretted.  There's always something new to learn, places to explore and memories to be made.  I know it will be that way this time as well but first I have to get out of the rut.  I have to do something that is uncomfortable as the reward will be great.

    Soon enough I'll be back home in my recliner in the evenings.  Early in the morning I'll wake up and I'll do that seven mile loop.  I just need to make sure that I never let it get too comfortable.  

The Big 5-0

     Fifty is definitely not like turning forty.  At forty, I still had not fully grasped the struggles of aging and I had not come to terms with my approaching mortality.  To celebrate my fortieth birthday I ran the Grand Canyon 42 miles rim to rim to rim.  Sure I had my problems with hamstring pain and other setbacks but I could still knock out a marathon in the 2:40s.  I felt like I would never slow down and could always compete for the top spot at trail races.  But within two or three years, reality began to set in and my body began to tell me that indeed I was growing old.

    At fifty I actually feel great physcially after some setbacks with hamstring surgery and in February, surgery for my meniscus.  Knees are starting the age like everything else.  But both of these surgeries were smashing successes and I feel like I did when I was in my late 20s when I first began running and cycling.  The only difference is I'm just a little bit slower.  The heart won't beat quite as fast and I can run a sub 6 minute mile but not two sub 6 minute miles in a row, much less ten of them as I did once.

    But I'm definitely okay with that.  After two surgeries, I'm just grateful to be fifty and to still be running.  Every day I get to run is a great gift.  I suspect I will always love the freedom the movement brings.  I still sometimes feel like a little kid just running carefree.

    Fifty was more difficult in a different way.  I see my life now much more clearly.  Perspective sets in.  I see myself and I see my parents and how they were at my age.  I can remember clearly when I was in high school and my mom turned 50.  Her friend Deanna had put a bunch of signs in the yard as a kind of prank announcing her 50th to the world.  I never imagined myself turning 50 at the time.  I only remember riding on the bus and looking at all the funny signs in the yard like "Isn't it nifty, to be 50".

    Now that I am 50, and my Mom and Dad are in their 80s, I can truly see myself at their age if I'm lucky enough to get there.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I can begin to see how the story plays out.  Sting has a song "Book of My Life" where he reflects on his life and I am at that point as well.  This book is still being written but it's more clear now.  My mortality is much more real.  

    That provokes reflection and that is where I'm at.  My children are almost all grown and I can only reflect on the life that Suzanne and I have made for them.  There's definitely a sadness to this.  

    I suspect this won't last long.  I already look forward to the independence of travel and the freedom the an empty nest brings.  I begin to imagine grandchildren and that all seems wonderful.

    The difference between 40 and 50 is simply that all of those things are very real for me now.  At 40, we were too busy to slow down and stop and think about it.  Though I think we did a pretty good job at trying to seize every day and make it count.  And like the Rush song I played endlessly for my kids, Suzanne and I truly worked to make Time Stand Still for them.

    I guess I need to also make Time Stand Still now as well.

2020 Review and 2021 Goals

This is the year I think that this blog becomes less about running and more about travel, backpacking and just adventures.  That being said, have a lot of running news in this post but 2021 will have much more with adventures.

 2021 is not off to a good start.  As I write this, I've spent the last month struggling with what I thought was an IT band but now appears to be a popliteus muscle strain.  It even seems that it might have begun as an IT band issue and then became a popliteus strain as I did not take enough time off.

Now I am sidelined for at least another week or two and looks like my recovery will be slow if I want to let this fully heal.  Thankfully, I was able to ride my bike yesterday and that seemed to have actually helped rather than to make things worse.  So that's encouraging.

2020 - What a year!  I never imagined there could be a year like it.  I ran a 5k road race in mid March and then bam, just like that, the entire country shut down.  Teaching from home online gave me a lot of time for running and cycling.  I did a lot of cycling so as not to run too much and injure myself.  I felt it was a good balance and I felt great.

For the next two months, I just did this from home with an occasional camping trip to the forest.  By June however, I was ready for some adventure.  So I made a trip to the John Muir Trail along with some Death Valley NP and Zion NP on the way home.

That trip inspired a subsequent family trip in early July and then I backpacked some of the Colorado Trail in July.

Both backpacking trips were good trips but I need to do more on both trails (though I've almost done entire JMT now) and I need to stay out longer.

With most races canceled, I ran 5K test races with the Cross Country teams and as fall started, I was able to get a lot of speed work in with the CC team.  I never run speed work like I do with the CC team.  That really helps to push all of us to be faster.  So my best for this year in the 5K was a 19:15 and an 18:52 (aided downhill).  I'll take it!

I had some great solo half marathon runs on Poteau Mountain where I love to run, bike and camp.  Including a 1:52 PR there.  

Racing resumed somewhat here in the fall and I did the Pumpkin Holler 50K where I ran great for the first 20 miles and was on pace to break four hours but then struggled in to a 4:17.  But it was a beautiful camping trip for Suzanne and I.

In November I did the White River Marathon but dropped to the half.  It's a double out and back and I just didn't want to go out and back again.  I finished in 1:32 at steady but easy pace.  I'm certain I would've fallen off that pace but confident I would have finished in sub 3:10, at worse sub 3:15.  I'll just have to do a fast road marathon in 2021.

Then three days after White River, I went camping and running in the forest and tripped and split my knee open.  15 stitches and 2 months later, it still hasn't completely healed.  It was also in November that I began having the IT band and popliteus strain symptoms.

Don't be fooled by what you read on the internet.  You cannot run through these injuries.  You must stop running.  If it hurts, stop.  Allow it to heal.  It will get better but will take time.  Do not run until it is completely healed and your injured leg feels as strong as the uninjured one.  Then come back slow and only without pain.

So that's where I'm at for 2021 and I need to heal up so I can fulfill my big adventures.

I'm set to pace the Little Rock Marathon again this year.  Not sure if they will have it.  I paced it last year in early March (forgot to mention that) and hope to again this year.

Athens-Big Fork and Switchbacks are almost certainly out for me because of this injury but I'm looking at maybe getting to do the Greenleaf Trail Run January 30th.  February has Styx and Stones 30K, so looking at that or maybe White Rock 50K.  Little Rock and March.  April will be some speed 5K's etc.  Maybe a road marathon like Hogeye or OKC?

In May I turn 50.  Not sure what I'll do to celebrate but running will be involved somehow.  Either a birthday trail run on Poteau Mountain or 5K or maybe another Grand Canyon R2R2R as I did to celebrate turning 40.

But my biggest plans for the year center on backpacking and Europe.  I want to hike from Chamonix to Zermatt and do another trail race somewhere in Europe and then also spend time exploring some new European cities.

Then in July I'd like to get back to the JMT.  It's just becoming a yearly pilgrimage for me and I love it.

Maybe some other travel as well?

Of course all of this depends on Covid's cooperation.  I'm hopeful the vaccine will make it all possible.