But despite feeling better, my last ultra was exactly one year ago at this race where I hobbled in injured and knew that I would not be running again for a long time. The pain from that run was so lasting that when my family and I got to Jemez this year, I began to have some serious pre-race jitters.
This was a fun end of school year camping trip for the family. We took the pop-up camper and were going white water rafting the Sunday after the race. But Friday afternoon as I was setting up camp in the parking lot at the Posse Shack (Start/Finish area), I could not get the pop-up to crank up. The cranking mechanism was completely stripped! Long story short - we had to buy a tent to sleep in for the rest of the trip and I fixed and sold the pop-up when we got back to Oklahoma.
Friday night was rather sleepless in that tent. I really didn't want to do the race. I guess I was just scared because it hurt so much last year, I thought it would hurt again this year. But there was no way I was not going to start. I DNS (did not start) at a race five years ago and still have not forgiven myself for that one. Once we started my nervousness did not abate even though I had already decided to drop to the 50K distance instead of the 50 miler. As we ran in the pre-dawn darkness, I began to really doubt why I was doing this at all. I moved really slowly and as we climbed up Pajarito Mountain, I thought about dropping out. The altitude was already killing me and I felt ghost pains where my injury used to be and convinced myself that I was really doing damage but I think that was an excuse.
The self-doubt and negativity would not go away so finally around mile 10 we crossed the road to the ski lodge on the way up the mountain. I knew my wife Suzanne would know where this was as we scouted the location the night before. I decided I would call her and have her come pick me up. I exited the trail and sat down for a while to contemplate it. I finally decided to call. I pulled out my cell phone (which normally I don't take with me on trail runs but that's how nervous I was) and I turned it on and the phone said "searching" - no signal! Well shit! I guess I have to keep moving now.
So I climbed Pajarito and down to the ski lodge at mile 18 or 19. From there it is all downhill so I had to continue now. I certainly didn't run my best race by any means but my goal was to finish comfortably and without pain. I did that and was able to run the entire way in. Which means my injury is much better if not healed and that is exciting news.
That night we had a wonderful dinner in Taos -
And the next day - white water rafting with me and the kids! The water was really moving and it was great fun! -
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